Comments on: Pages 70-71

By: deaf and dumb nettle

deaf and dumb nettle — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 00:10:49 +0000

you might say, instead of "a mix" of her life's work, "the culmination" or something along those lines.

By: Dan Hoey

Dan Hoey — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 17:23:51 +0000

I'd agree. Sonja is an inventor who has thrown together at least three belief-straining McGuffins in her basement workshop. Compared to that, reworking the suit is going to be busy work.

By: Julian

Julian — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:24:26 +0000

You could have her say the suit fits victuals, and have his movements move the larger limbs of the suit, kinda like they do with those walkers in avatar.

By: Kami

Kami — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:20:33 +0000

I like the perspective in the last panel on page 70. It's nice and it mixes it up a little bit

By: lemongrass

lemongrass — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:27:10 +0000

"Minor" adjustments to Victuals :) not the suit.

By: darkwatersong

darkwatersong — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:35:44 +0000

stick with "minor." Why? I once had a mechanical genius tell me he was making some minor adjustments to his car. You know a new engine, a new transmission, and rebuilding the chassis.

This is the same way for me switching my PC from XP to Win 7 was a minor upgrade, and pulling out a TV tuner card and replacing it with another was 15 min of work.

By: Ookami-07

Ookami-07 — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 18:12:56 +0000

I think that with her kind of talent as an inventor, I believe to her they might seem minor adjustments.

By: StephenM3

StephenM3 — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:59:21 +0000

Of course, you guys probably don't know what adjustments she has in mind. Maybe she DOES know a way to let Victuals use the suit, while leaving it mostly intact.

By: Dan Hoey

Dan Hoey — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:26:15 +0000

Grammar and English nits:

"It was his life" is not idiomatic in English. Perhaps "It was his life's ambition" or "It was his heart's desire."

I'm pretty sure there should be a comma in "tested, really".

Should stick with conditional in "you could go back".

Direct address commas in "told you, Sonja" and "Excuse me, Mr. Nahusthan"

And a comma before "please".

By: Virtureal

Virtureal — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:25:24 +0000

"Minor" adjustments :D

I agree with Cristi there is a lot more than minor adjustment to be made before it can fit Victuals, as you said it would work better with ideas. Still loving the graphic novel though, I love your drawing and colouring style