Nice job. Woot, more ReMIND. I'm looking forward to seeing how the story goes. The text is kind of small and a bit hard for me to read on this page, however.
Oh, I'm just about to start doing the pages of my graphic novel.
Cool story and artwork Jason! I just found it through a banner ad at The Phoenix Requiem. I'll be adding this to my list of comics for reading during breakfast.
Thanks for the tip about opening the photos in full-size too — it does make a difference.
Thanks for the grammar suggestion. It’s one of my weak spots. A few others have pointed out the shifted tense too and I’ve been meaning to fix it. Thanks again and I’m glad you are enjoying reMIND.
The second sentence on the third panel seems to be missing something. I think it should be "The truth was the invisible made real, and the truth was called Nahusthan." It is a little repetitive, but I think that is the sort of formal quasi-religious tone you're looking for.
Also, the third sentence is not a direct quote (he didn't say "unto him") so it shouldn't be in quotes. And "bestowed" takes the preposition "upon", not "unto". Also, it needs a "that" to make it parse. The sentence should be
A carving that he said had been bestowed upon him by the Invisible itself
or
A carving, he said, that had been bestowed upon him by the Invisible itself.
A little correction in the last speech bubble… "Alizarin Crimson was never the same" implies it was an ever-changing place, but I guess that's not what you want to convey, instead I'd go for
wow, it's getting really good.
I get the feeling this won't end well… Perhaps I'm just overly cynical.
Great job once again, every time there is a new page I end up wishing I could draw like this, but alas, I have no artistic talent.
Nice job. Woot, more ReMIND. I'm looking forward to seeing how the story goes. The text is kind of small and a bit hard for me to read on this page, however.
Oh, I'm just about to start doing the pages of my graphic novel.
Keep up the great work.
Thanks Neil. If you have trouble reading the text, you can always right click and open the image in a new window to see the page at full size.
Cool story and artwork Jason! I just found it through a banner ad at The Phoenix Requiem. I'll be adding this to my list of comics for reading during breakfast.
Thanks for the tip about opening the photos in full-size too — it does make a difference.
"Ideals" should be "ideas." Also, you shifted tense from past to present. "Because he was invisible…there is much dissension."
Great comic, I can't believe it was under my radar for this long. I hope to see many more pages in the future. : )
Thanks for the grammar suggestion. It’s one of my weak spots. A few others have pointed out the shifted tense too and I’ve been meaning to fix it. Thanks again and I’m glad you are enjoying reMIND.
I think the king should be named "Ersatz", because "Erzats" looks like a misspelling of the German loan-word.
There should probably be ellipses (three dots) on "into the light…" and "… returning three days later" since the sentence carries on across a panel.
The second sentence on the third panel seems to be missing something. I think it should be "The truth was the invisible made real, and the truth was called Nahusthan." It is a little repetitive, but I think that is the sort of formal quasi-religious tone you're looking for.
Also, the third sentence is not a direct quote (he didn't say "unto him") so it shouldn't be in quotes. And "bestowed" takes the preposition "upon", not "unto". Also, it needs a "that" to make it parse. The sentence should be
or
A little correction in the last speech bubble… "Alizarin Crimson was never the same" implies it was an ever-changing place, but I guess that's not what you want to convey, instead I'd go for
"Alizarin Crimson was no more the same".
As always, thanks for the awesome comic! ^^
or "never the same again."
Alizarin Crimson!? A maroon, red color. Not exactly what I would think of calling a home underwater, but I’m sure there’s a deeper meaning.