reMIND – Spread 4

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Discussion (10) ¬

  1. ZOE*89

    yo, i really like the atmospheric qualities in your art.. like sunshine and distance…

    i want to make a graphic novel like this one day, but for now i’m just writing my story ideas out to perfection…

  2. othershadows

    the grammar is just off in the bubble above the cat posters. You used past and present tense there. Can’t do that but not sure how to fix it (Grammar sucks too and spelling). Maybe. “I started to run out of ideas, so i broke down, and began to post some signs around town” or keep the posted and on part. All i know is that it really isn’t right.

  3. othershadows

    on that note love the art!

  4. grass

    I kinda like the dialogue in that bubble the way it is. It’s not correct, but it’s the way people talk – which suits for narration, I reckon.

  5. Greatlin

    I don’t agree with the previous grammar note (she could still be actively running out of ideas when she broke, so the tenses don’t clash), but I’d reposition the punctuation in the last speech bubble:
    From “My cat … I mean.” to “…My cat, I mean.”

  6. powsinoga

    If you contract “them” to “em” you should use an apostrophe: ‘em

  7. Skiff

    Another note on the grammer for the cat posters box. I’d say that if you change from “I finally broke” to “I’ve finally broke”, you can keep the style just as casual but make it work a little better. It’s just a little jarring when you read something and it’s close but not quite. I don’t think you’d lose anything by switching to “I’ve”. Hope that helps.
    Love this page by the way!

  8. Skiff

    Oh how embarrassing, I’ve written a note about grammar … and spelt grammar wrong.
    *hangs head in shame*

    • Dan Hoey

      That’s a universal law of corrections: when you correct someone’s English, you make a mistake in your own English. I try not to let it bother me, but it’s tough.

  9. Dan Hoey

    There should be a direct address comma in “Morning, Sonja”.

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