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reMIND – Spread 4
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reMIND – Spread 4

by Jason Brubaker on November 23, 2009 at 6:00 am
  • Chapter 1

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└ Tags: graphic novel

Discussion (18) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. ZOE*89
    ZOE*89
    May 16, 2010 at 7:51 am | #

    yo, i really like the atmospheric qualities in your art.. like sunshine and distance…

    i want to make a graphic novel like this one day, but for now i'm just writing my story ideas out to perfection…

  2. othershadows
    othershadows
    May 27, 2010 at 9:18 am | #

    the grammar is just off in the bubble above the cat posters. You used past and present tense there. Can't do that but not sure how to fix it (Grammar sucks too and spelling). Maybe. "I started to run out of ideas, so i broke down, and began to post some signs around town" or keep the posted and on part. All i know is that it really isn't right.

  3. othershadows
    othershadows
    May 27, 2010 at 9:19 am | #

    on that note love the art!

  4. grass
    grass
    June 2, 2010 at 4:33 pm | #

    I kinda like the dialogue in that bubble the way it is. It's not correct, but it's the way people talk – which suits for narration, I reckon.

  5. Greatlin
    Greatlin
    June 3, 2010 at 2:18 am | #

    I don't agree with the previous grammar note (she could still be actively running out of ideas when she broke, so the tenses don't clash), but I'd reposition the punctuation in the last speech bubble:

    From "My cat … I mean." to "…My cat, I mean."

  6. powsinoga
    powsinoga
    June 3, 2010 at 11:35 pm | #

    If you contract "them" to "em" you should use an apostrophe: 'em

  7. Skiff
    Skiff
    June 10, 2010 at 6:40 pm | #

    Another note on the grammer for the cat posters box. I'd say that if you change from "I finally broke" to "I've finally broke", you can keep the style just as casual but make it work a little better. It's just a little jarring when you read something and it's close but not quite. I don't think you'd lose anything by switching to "I've". Hope that helps.

    Love this page by the way!

    • Muddkipz
      Muddkipz
      March 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm | #

      I personally think it sounds better without changing it to “I’ve”

  8. Skiff
    Skiff
    June 10, 2010 at 6:42 pm | #

    Oh how embarrassing, I've written a note about grammar … and spelt grammar wrong.

    *hangs head in shame*

    • Dan Hoey
      Dan Hoey
      June 21, 2010 at 12:34 pm | #

      That's a universal law of corrections: when you correct someone's English, you make a mistake in your own English. I try not to let it bother me, but it's tough.

  9. Dan Hoey
    Dan Hoey
    June 21, 2010 at 12:36 pm | #

    There should be a direct address comma in "Morning, Sonja".

  10. Lisana de Medici
    Lisana de Medici
    October 2, 2010 at 4:32 pm | #

    This universe kind of totally seems absolutely awesome. Must find out more.

    PS: on Eddie’s meat cart, replace “organicly” with “organically”, if possible. :)

  11. denny
    denny
    January 14, 2011 at 10:15 am | #

    I’ve just been skimming through the story, but the art is absolutely first rate! I’m subscribing!

  12. butterflied412
    butterflied412
    February 8, 2011 at 5:24 pm | #

    Lizard man or not, that many missing pets isn’t a good sign:(

  13. the_brigand
    the_brigand
    February 16, 2011 at 6:42 am | #

    Pretty good translation job. most important thing is to make sure the meaning of what you are saying comes across. I don’t see that as much of a problem, your writing’s been fairly straight forward.

    if he’s willing to do it, why not?

  14. Denise
    Denise
    May 19, 2011 at 10:11 am | #

    i think the poster should read ” contact Sonja at the lighthouse if found” it flows better and better illustrates your meaning… i think. and i agree with the first comment the atmosphere is absolutely remarkable! and has anyone else notices all the other missing pet posters? for shadowing! duh duh duh DUHHHHH

  15. Jason
    Jason
    June 17, 2011 at 7:17 pm | #

    The watercolors and art in this story ARE SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!!

  16. quannage
    quannage
    August 11, 2011 at 9:39 am | #

    Just visited this site from getting an endorsement from RATFIST and EARTHWORM JIM creator Doug TeNapel.
    Wow. Heckuva way to make a first impression.
    Very impressive spread. Me likes.

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